Just the Facts

Here is an article I found while looking for sexual abuse facts, and here is another one.

Great website of what I have read so far!

Facts of Sexual Abuse:
* 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will become victims of sexual abuse by the time they reach their 18th birthday.
* 85-90% of child sexual abuse cases are committed by trusted family members and close friends.
* 88% of cases of sexual abuse are never reported to the authorities.

Most victims become perpetrators themselves if they are not given the right help/therapy.

Don't think that only strangers are the ones that will commit this heinous acts on your children!  Educate yourself and your children on sexual abuse.  It's not just about good touch, bad touch.  This is a very serious thing that goes on daily in our lives and so many turn the other way.

I can't even begin to describe my hurt, my anger, my disbelief in how people in my life have been sexually abused.  How when I hear or read a story about sexual abuse; I am completely brought to tears.  Knowing what that family is going through now and what they will go through in the future.  I can't fathom how the parents feel of children who a been silent for so many years- them not knowing why their child acted like that, not being able to soothe them, help them, the list goes on and on.  I am brought to my knees trying to understand it all.

Will you STAND or stand by?

Child Sexual Abuse- I am not sure where to even start with this one. 
With the Sandusky case going on; I have been reading about it a lot lately.  This is something that hits me right in the gut.  I have three people in my life (that I associate with regularly) that I know were sexually abused as a child or teen.  It enrages me that so many people can turn a blind eye to something like this and I hope that it makes you angry too.  I am not going to go into the details of the Sandusky case, but numerous people within the campus and that were part of The Second Mile had indications or witnessed at some point something inappropriate.  WHY WAS NOTHING DONE???  Some of the public now says well, so and so did their job by reporting to their supervisor.  What about reporting it to the police?  Why didn't anyone follow up about the incidents that they saw and/or heard?  Just because it was inappropriate does not mean it was not abuse.
It is not just this publicly known case that this happened to.  I am sure that it happens everyday.  I know that in my house, I did not turn a blind eye.  And nor will I ever turn a blind eye. 

We should have a moral obligation to any child to be their voice and to be heard!  Will you stand up for that child or stand by and let the abuse happen?

Whirlwind

We have been in a whirlwind the past couple weeks, but no time to blog.  Soccer is over, fall is setting in, and we are getting ready for the holidays.
I have thought of 2 or 3 blogs but have not typed them out; blogs from the Sandusky Scandal to Being at the Feet of Jesus.  These two mentioned I plan to get top sometime soon; I am very passionate about both right now.  I have typed these blogs out in my head but not on the keyboard, ha.
We are in the process of getting ready to go to North Carolina for Thanksgiving to see my sister!  We have never traveled for any holiday so this is going to be an experience.
Hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving if we don't talk before then.

Make the Time to Spend

(Be prepared this is a little long, sorry)
As I mentioned in my post last week; some parents were bad mouthing Peyton during the soccer game between Peyton and Olivia.  Some much of me wanted to turn around and yell at these dads who were talking about MY SON!  My son who loves and lives to play soccer, asks everyday can he go outside and play- multiple times throughout the day!  Who would want nothing more than to play and have others watch him.  One comment was 'Go ahead and give it to the ball hog!' Mind you these dads were loud enough for some of the parent to hear but I am pretty sure none of the kids heard.  I waited patiently, looked over at Chris and would say 'Did you just hear that?  They called him Dennis Rodman'; WHAT?  Dennis Rodman??.  (Peyton has his hair spray painted for his games.  It is something special he likes to do and if he has not been behaving during week or has had problems he doesn't get to spray his hair.  This particular Saturday his hair was red to match his jersey and Olivia's was sparkle sprayed.)  I would turn and look at them and they continue; completely engrossed in their own world.  One of these dads I went to high school with; we were in the band together.  I felt so upset not only for what they were saying about my son but also betrayed by someone that I knew.  Then I would hear 'He is good; he most play with older kids.  He is able to anticipate what is going to happen.'
I looked back one more time to her a mom say 'You know that's Olivia's brother.
Dads: What? Who’s Brother?
Other Mom: That's Olivia's brother.'
With a look over to me and Chris, I say back 'Yes, that is Olivia's brother and my son you have been bad mouthing.'  
Dads: We were not bad mouthing him; we were talking about how GOOD he was.
I replied with giving credit that they did once say he was good but have bad mouthed him for over 15 minutes.  I kept my cool said that little bit and turned around and finished watching the game cheering ALL of the children on.  We did have one parent (my friend from high school) apologize for his actions and words on Tuesday at practice.
Yes, Peyton is better than a lot of the children in his age group.  He plays with all of his heart and does the best that he can.  He practices and practices and practices.  He practices with older kids; he has even walked up to 16 year old at the fields and starting playing/passing with them.  He is encouraged by his family and friends to be better not just on the field but off the field.
We play soccer at the YMCA in our area and this is supposed to be a Christian organization and we are talking bad about children.  How Christian is that?
Why is it as a society that we bad mouthed the children that are doing good because are child or child's team is doing bad?  We should be encouraging our children to step up and strive to be better.  Not to sit back in our own little world and complain about others.
I remember hearing a couple weeks ago about a high school football player being told he can't score that many touchdowns or something to that effect.  WHY? Because he plays better than the other kids?
After we left the field that day and went about our business I kept thinking about the whole situation.  And wondered, if those dads were outside showing their sons how to play soccer, spending time with them, encouraging them to be their best; would they have been talking about my son the way they did knowing that their child is giving it their all as my son does on the field every-time he plays?  Knowing that their child is having the time of his life playing and having his parents actually watch him play and be interested in him and not some other drama that is going on.  Be a role model!  Show your child how to strive to succeed.  Pick them up when they fall.  Don't have them in something because that is what you did growing up or that is what you think they want to be in, ask them.  Be interested in what they are doing and want to do.  Watch them intently. Enjoy the time that you can spend with your children.  Make the time to spend with your children!



 
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Whew! Where has the time gone?

It is toward the end of October and I have not blogged since July!  There goes my whole 'blog at least every other week'.  We have been BUSY that past couple months and especially when school started in August then soccer at the end of August.
All three children are playing soccer and LOVING it! 
Olivia likes to play goalie because she can sing and dance until the ball comes to her.  I don't think she has been scored on yet.  Peyton is a one man wrecking team on the field.  He is quicker than most of the other kids and has great ball control.  We had an incident on Saturday about other parents bad mouthing him (because their child's team was losing); that’s for another post soon.  Autumn has been playing defense this whole season.  She has been playing the same position I normally played back in high school and college; a fullback.  Autumn has done a wonderful job there; she is getting really good with that left foot and being very aggressive.
I have started a new venture in selling Thirty-One Gifts.  It is purses, bags, accessories that can be monogrammed.  It has been going really well till recently, this month has been slow.  Check out my website, mythirtyone.com/tiffanyrichter or visit my private group on facebook.com, Awesome Gifts with Tiffany.  It's more than just selling purses and bags.
The kids have been doing great in school.  Autumn has made Honor Roll again!!  Peyton has been improving wonderfully! (We had some behavior issues in the beginning)  Olivia's teachers just lover her and her knowledge!  I still can't believe that they are all in school and under one roof.
Until next time....

Summer Time!

It has been a little crazy the past week going into crazy week #2, at least for me. 
All of the kids stayed with grandma and papa last week from Tuesday until Friday morning.  I am sure that nanny is glad the house is nice and quiet this week.  They went bowling, to the movies, and we all went to the laser show on Thursday night, in which Olivia was home sick and decided to come home with Chris and I. 
Chris and I had a quiet dinner on Tuesday night.  Very odd to be able to carry on a conversation without being interrupted to tell a better story or  just having a plain quiet sit down dinner.
We all thoroughly enjoyed the new 3D Laser Show at Stone Mountain.  Peyton slept through about half of it and Olivia just couldn't stop dancing.  We are going to definitely have to get her into some dance lessons. 
This week Chris is graduating!  He has practice Thursday night and graduation is Friday.  The kids are spending the day with grandma again tomorrow and spending the night.
Sunday, Brew, our dog was not feeling very well.  I will not go into detail but making sure that he was okay and taking care of him and limiting his diet added to our activities.  
This may not seem like a lot but add into that 2 practices during the week for Autumn for soccer and an early game on Saturdays.  And to top it off my second job at Publix- 4 nights a week.  That makes a crazy week for me! All the while trying to keep harmony in the house and cleaning and laundry caught up (which doesn't happen). 
Now it is almost time to start getting ready for school to be back.  All three will be in school, Ugh!

Thank you for tuning into this Richter/Hendrickson update!

Back to Square One

The good news turned into BAD news this morning.  Chris' job did not pan out.  We, as a family, were all excited that Daddy had a job.  We were finally going to get out of this stage of *searching* for a job. 
Chris had already been on an 'interview' for this company last month where he worked for part of the day on a car; so that they (the company) could see his work and how his skills were.  He did not receive a phone call back from that interview until Thursday; saying that there would be a 2nd shift and that his pay would be xxx amount of dollars.  Woohoo, Chris and I thought!  It would almost double our income!
His 1st night was last night; he worked with guys that had 10-25 years experience and Chris really enjoyed working.  They met and surpassed their quota of cars to get finished.  But this morning he received a call stating that he did not need to come in today.  WHAT?!!  No real reason given.  Chris believes that it just another way to get free work out of him and all the other guys that worked last night.  So, we are back to square one.  This is definitely not the company that he wants to work for.  God has a plan in everything; I just wish I can see the blueprints for this one.

It's Been A While....

It has been over a month since my last post/update.  We have completely ended the school year & spring soccer and moved into the summer.
The kids have left Kidz Academy for the summer for us to save money.  They are now staying with an in home daycare.  They seem to like it, but miss their friends dearly from Kidz Academy.  Once school starts back up in August they will return to Kidz Academy.  
Autumn has had her 10th birthday and I have had my 3....something birthday.  WOW!  Having a 10 year really make me seem old.  I know that I am not grandma and papa old, like the kids say but it's amazing to thing she has been my responsibility for 10 whole years.  I think I have done pretty good with Autumn; we shall see how the next 10 years will be.     Autumn's new phrase to use is that she can do *certain* things cause she is 'double digits' now.  
Autumn is now playing indoor soccer.  This is so different from playing outdoor.  Her team is made up of kids that have never played together (except for two teammates) and they have never played indoor soccer.  Indoor soccer is so fast paced and continuously going.  Indoor soccer is very similar to hockey on green turf and smaller playing field.  I want to beat on the plexiglass so bad like you see at a hockey game.  Their 1st game was so devasting to the kids but they played very hard and did the best they could.  I am hoping that tomorrow's game is a lot better. 
We also had something very scary happen this week.  Our dog, Brew, was hit by a truck.  He is okay but it was a very scary time for Chris and I since we watched the whole thing happen.  Yes, our dog was not on a leash, but he was within voice command.  The person (I am being *very* nice here) was speeding through our neighborhood and was on the wrong side of the road when he hit/ran over Brew.  There are skid marks on the road from him hitting his brakes from him driving so fast.  We are very thankful that Brew only has a couple minor abrasions and a sore hip.  He has been loving all the extra attention he has been getting though.
Good News!! I just found out that Chris has been offered a job and he has accepted.  This is with a company about 10 minutes from the house making more than what he was asking for!  The job is related to auto body repair.  For those of you who know us very well, this has been a long road to find a job especially in the field that he attended school for.  I am very excited to hear this news and hope that we are able to move forward in this journey.

End of School Year !

Another chapter of the children's lives is closed.

Autumn is now a 5th grader! Peyton will be a kindergartener in August! Olivia will be in Pre-K (wherever that may be)!
I am amazed by their growth of the past year and how much they have changed; especially over the past couple months.

Autumn's awards ceremony was rather long since it was the end of the year. She received Honor Roll again and Perfect Attendance. She has been accepted in to the gifted program, Scope. Autumn has also informed me that she scored very high on her CRCT. This is how the conversation went.
Autumn- Hey, mom, I got to throw water balloons at my teacher today.
Me- Really? Why did you throw water balloons at your teacher today? (very puzzled)
A- Well, for every subject that we scored over 850 we were able to throw one water balloon at Ms. Tanner.
Me- How many water balloons did you throw?
A- Five.
Me- (Hitting the brakes on a back road near the house) Autumn that is awesome! (with a high five to her) You scored that high on every subject on the CRCT?
A-Yep, Ms. Tanner was so wet from the balloons.
Some days I wonder does she really understand how proud we are of her. She is so nonchalant about some things. We have not received the official scores yet, but I am pretty sure she scored high.

Peyton's Pre-K graduation was wonderful! I am very impressed by the way the children behaved and performed. The graduation did not start until 8pm, past bedtime in our house; so I was worried that some of the kids would be cranky, tired, and just plain not wanting to 'perform'. Not at all the truth! I don't think I saw one children not participating, they had such pride in what they were doing. Must of been the two weeks worth of practice. Peyton told me the days before graduation that I was going to cry when he was walking into the church; I held myself together. I was a little teary eyed; even daddy is the one that cried (he had to look away from Peyton to stop). The children said the pledge of allegiance and the Lord's Prayer then performed a couple songs. Peyton's class performed 'Life is a Highway', all with air guitars; so fitting for him. He also received the Most Athletic reward! I kept myself together until Mr. Billy announced them as Senior High School Class of 2024. 2024? What!?! I can't even think about that! Then I started thinking in 8 years Autumn will be graduating from high school! EIGHT YEARS! Where has the time gone?

Olivia had an end of year program on Friday morning. This was the first performance/school function for Olivia that I attended. Chris has been at a couple others; and she did not 'perform'. She either just stood in front of everyone or would not stand on 'stage'. I was hoping that this would not be the case, especially with the progress in attitude and behavior she has made. Olivia sat in her chair in front of all the parents and did a wonderful job! They also did the pledge of allegiance, The Lord's Prayer, and a couple songs. Olivia received the Best All Around award! If you would have told me 4 months ago she would have received that award, I would not have believed you. She has changed so much since moving to the new school; I can't say enough about how well she has done in and out of school. Sometimes it just takes a different view of scenery!

Peyton was upset this morning that he was not going to 'Autumn's school' today. He was ready to go to Kindergarten and start at his new school. He did not care about having a summer break he just wants to go to 'Audy's school'.

I am so thankful and glad that we have found a school where are children feel comfortable and can be themselves. My heart swells to hear the little ones say The Lord's prayer and to sing at the top of their lungs 'The 10 Commandments'. We have been so blessed since deciding to move the children there. And to think I almost did not choose this place because of the look of the outside. Looks from the outside can be very deceiving!

Olivia's Note

As some of you know, Olivia can be a, well , she is a strong willed child. We try to embrace that daily with some of her actions and I know that it will be a great characteristic trait when she gets older.
She had difficulties at her other school; not listening, telling her teacher no, not following directions; the list goes on and on. I touched on some of the it in earlier post, see Out of the Mouths of Babes (don't know how to link in the post). Well anyways, she is a very bright intelligent beautiful and loving young girl when she wants to be; she can be very vicious also.
So when getting the children from school, Olivia runs up to me and says 'Mommy, I got a note from school today....(Oh, great! I thought, what kind of note) a GOOD note! Olivia's teachers had written Chris and I a page long letter on how well she behaved and how mature she was at school today even when others were being distracting and not listening. I am amazed at how much she has changed since attending this new school. She has no problems at all at school- listening, following directions, using manners. They love having her there. And the same behavior is starting to happen at home. No more fits in the mornings getting ready for school, getting ready for bed when asked; don't get me wrong she is still 4 and has a very strong personality, but we are getting better!
Olivia was rewarded last night with a Popsicle right before bedtime; we were running behind due to the fact of working on a school project for Autumn, which I will write about later. Chris was not happy with the Popsicle right before bed; I told no Olivia will eat the Popsicle and go straight to bed. Who-la, she did with out complaints or whining.
Way to Go Livi! You are becoming such a big girl!

Mother's Day Gifts

I received my Mother's Day Gifts on Friday night in the driveway after coming home from Autumn's soccer game. They could not wait until Sunday to give them to me. I have been hearing little bits and pieces of what the little ones had been making and then them quickly reminding each other that it is a surprise and not to tell mommy. Both of Olivia and Peyton's gifts were in brown paper sacks, not too much to them and just Happy Mother's Day written by their teacher.
First to give was Peyton, obviously. He opened the bag for me and handed me a small yellow card. I looked and it and started to cry. He wrote all by himself "Happy Mothers Day" on the outside and 'I Love You, Peyton' on the inside. I was emotional about it was this is the first time I have seen him actually write full word that were readable. One of my fears for him for Kindergarten is not writing his letters and being able to make words. He has made so much progress in his new school. There was also a baby jar with bath salts for 'me to take a bath and relax, mommy' and a flower pot that Peyton hand painted and hand flowers already growing in it.
Olivia, was next. Her bag had a card attached to it that she made with her teacher. But her handwriting "I Love You, Olivia' on the inside (no problems with Olivia's handwriting at all). On one side of the card were questions Olivia was asked; I am 6 years old, and she loves me because I am her bestest friend. Made my heart swell to have a bestest friend when I have been told many times 'I not your friend anymore'. She also gave me a hand painted flower pot, no flowers yet.
Autumn brought hers to me after we got inside. She made a beautiful card also; which she spent a long time on. There was also a handmade picture frame with a picture of her in it, just beautiful!
We didn't do anything special; I actually worked on Mother's Day. But having the gifts from my children made it very special. Olivia and Peyton have been very tedious about making sure that the flowers are watered, may too much Olivia. I have the cards and Autumn's picture sitting on my dresser so that I see them every morning! I am very touched to have received a homemade gifts than one that was bought at the store!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My children say some the most extraordinary things; and they do not think twice about it. On Friday, Chris and I went to a conference for Olivia. It was a planned 'end of year' conference for her. Neither Chris nor I were nervous about the conference, but I remember her last one at her last school; and did not want the same kind of conference. For any that knows Olivia, she can speak her mind when she wants to and does not take anything from anyone.
The conference went great! Olivia is doing very well in her new school! Her teacher, Ms. Jennifer, is very impressed with her counting to 20 and knowing most of the alphabet. She can write her name very well, not her last name yet but we are getting there. I found it very odd that she did not recognize certain letters though; O,P, and R. Her name starts with O, her brother's name starts with P and her last name starts with R, who knows? How does she not recognize these letters? That's Olivia for you.
Olivia has told her teacher that her parent’s names are Tiffany & Brett. Huh? Does she even know a Brett? (My cousin's boyfriend's name is Brett, she has seen him twice in the past year and I don't think she even talked to him at both family functions) So is she completely confused to what her father's name is? No, she knows that her daddy's name is Chris. I said that she was calling 'her daddy a brat'!
Olivia is also able to tell or retell a story. Hmm, wonder who she gets this from? My sister, Mary? Her teacher had to tell us about her retelling of a story because it was 'just too cute'. When Ms. Jennifer was evaluating Olivia, she had asked Olivia to retell a story that they had learned about early in the day. So, Olivia told the story of The Last Supper.
Olivia: We learned about The First Supper.
Ms Jennifer: You mean The Last Supper?
Olivia: NO, I mean The First Supper. Jesus broke the bread and gave it to his people. Then, he gave them wine or juice; and told them to eat and drink it.
Ms. Jennifer: Who are Jesus' people?
Olivia: His recycles.
Ms Jennifer: His disciples?
Olivia: NO, his recycles!
Ms. Jennifer: You mean, his disciples?
Olivia: NO, I mean his recycles!
Ms. Jennifer did not correct her again; she was trying to contain herself from laughing so hard.

I started to think about this more in depth about how are children say the most unusual and innocent things. What if we took those saying seriously and took a deeper look into them.

One definition of recycles is 'Convert (waste) into reusable material'. Jesus takes us and makes us new.
Another definition is to undergo reuse or renewal. Think about that! We are renewed with Jesus Christ.
Being a disciple of Jesus we are to witness to others so that they are changed and renewed.

I think the Lord talks to us every day through our children; by their actions AND their words, even if they are not the correct ones.

Go and be recycles!